You gotta start somewhere...

So I really want to start life as a mum. Yes I don't own my own house, I'm still only in my early years of studies, I have a bad habit of spending money on pointless things,  and I'm single.

But I'm 32 years old and like many single 32 year old women long for that feeling of motherhood. I want to feel the butterflies, I want to breastfeed, I want to have that little someone I can call mine.

Making this decision of having a child of my own wasn't just an easy thought. It’s taken me years, months, meeting new potential partners, losing hope, having my heart broken and a sense of independence and strength to come to this conclusion. It's a huge life change but somewhere in the midst of it all, I know I am truly ready to be a mum. And although I take full responsibility for what the future holds, there is my family. The people that I hope will support me in the stages to make this dream possible.

 At first I thought I would hit up my little bro with how I was feeling. Driving to the city I was only a little nervous about bringing up the topic. But his response was better than I ever thought. Next was Mum. Who knew what would happen here. I was nervous. In fact I don’t even think I looked at her in the eyes when I told her the news. Like any mother the response came with concerns. How will I cope? What if I met someone? The sleep? The money? Doing it on my own? But with time Mum came around. She even told me that I would probably have to move in with her, and just quietly that was something I thought about all along. My sister Anita’s response was a little similar but not as vocal as mums response. Having the support from my family means a lot and with their support I know I will be okay.

 

With the thought of pregnancy comes the healthy eating and the no smoking. The smoking is coming along okay… I’ve been a little moody, so I do apologise to the folk around me. Be patient with me.

Tomorrow I have my first appointment with my GP. I’m so nervous. I feel like I really want this so bad and something is just going to block it. Who knows…? Time can only tell...


You gotta start somewhere, even if it means doing it on my own...